Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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