and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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