3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
