i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
