so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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