I just threw up on my dentist
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize