If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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