I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
