Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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