Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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