Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
