She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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