Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
