I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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