I'd wear matching sweaters with you
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
