Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
vagina is talking i cant
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
