That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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