i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
