Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
