i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
