Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize