I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
