just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
