This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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