I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
