It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
