omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
