fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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