She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize