just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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