I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
