Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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