You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
