Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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