I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize