Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
