playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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