Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize