I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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