so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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