dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize