Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt

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  (989): I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt http://tfl.nu/o754
  Replies (7) Good night (2915) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.

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  (586): I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business. http://tfl.nu/ppsa
  Replies (34) Good night (5269) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

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  (805): my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/fiwi
  Replies (43) Good night (1515) Bad night (14463)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

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  (518): I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire. http://tfl.nu/37qo
  Replies (30) Good night (15965) Bad night (1788)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

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  (757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp
  Replies (4) Good night (3527) Bad night (1908)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.

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  (720): After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards. http://tfl.nu/zyl3
  Replies (13) Good night (850) Bad night (2888)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.

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  (319): We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like. http://tfl.nu/8dbs
  Replies (10) Good night (3264) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.

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  (541): I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall. http://tfl.nu/64r1
  Replies (7) Good night (4369) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?

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  (775): Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"? http://tfl.nu/g7e2
  Replies (8) Good night (1851) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.

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  (610): I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents. http://tfl.nu/hwmn
  Replies (8) Good night (1812) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation

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  (310): Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation http://tfl.nu/nk1k
  Replies (10) Good night (505) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.

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  (250): If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you. http://tfl.nu/tnhh
  Replies (6) Good night (1070) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.

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  (937): Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills. http://tfl.nu/u4sm
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life

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  (610): Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life http://tfl.nu/zhdb
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.

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  (905): I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/9bpy
  Replies (0) Good night (110) Bad night (189)

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