i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.