Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?

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  (646): Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton? http://tfl.nu/taql
  Replies (2) Good night (1430) Bad night (608)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.

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  (816): I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ. http://tfl.nu/y7u3
  Replies (16) Good night (4253) Bad night (825)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

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  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
  Replies (12) Good night (3785) Bad night (1813)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Bad news is he broke up with me via text message

  (561): View more from Florida

  But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville

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  (561): Bad news is he broke up with me via text message (561): But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville http://tfl.nu/1qx8
  Replies (28) Good night (7191) Bad night (1551)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.

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  (314): one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this. http://tfl.nu/eiot
  Replies (6) Good night (1426) Bad night (1298)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.

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  (281): i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/4vq3
  Replies (7) Good night (957) Bad night (1904)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.

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  (918): he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond. http://tfl.nu/174e
  Replies (4) Good night (1873) Bad night (998)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.

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  (814): The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise. http://tfl.nu/8q09
  Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (924)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.

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  (512): I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home. http://tfl.nu/rsl1
  Replies (11) Good night (1495) Bad night (861)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent

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  (937): Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent http://tfl.nu/u4ks
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (446)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check the mailbox while you're out!

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.

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  (306): Check the mailbox while you're out! (1-306): I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree. http://tfl.nu/rtqa
  Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (322)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.

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  (602): Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials. http://tfl.nu/99ms
  Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (864)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible

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  (518): Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible http://tfl.nu/sefo
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (304)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye

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  (913): so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye http://tfl.nu/o046
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (782)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.

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  (256): We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important. http://tfl.nu/x4o0
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (308)

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