You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
