member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
