just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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