none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
id be glad to
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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