in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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