just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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