i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If that was your dad, he is hot
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
