Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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