she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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