Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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