it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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