well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
