Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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