Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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