He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
