Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My vagina is very pro this idea
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Your penis caused this!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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