Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
