You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
