I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
