The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
