i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
