she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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