the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
